


Welcome to wonderland

by Iamthebad_wolf



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Declarations Of Love, Drabble, F/F, Fluff, New Planets, Other, Slow Dancing, Star Gazing, thasmin, why is there no tag for star gazing?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-19 01:01:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29618193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iamthebad_wolf/pseuds/Iamthebad_wolf
Summary: A little look into life with the Doctor, and what it is like to love the Doctor.
Relationships: Thirteenth Doctor/Yasmin Khan
Kudos: 10





	Welcome to wonderland

**Author's Note:**

> this hit me out of nowhere, so i wrote it down before i could forget it. it's short and sweet

“You’re like the greatest person ever ever met.”

She meant it. 

There are people that inspire, people who drive you, people who help your dreams come true. People who are the embodiment of your worst nightmares, or the greatest wish you have ever had. People who leave starlight in their wake. The Doctor is all of those things. 

The Doctor will take you to see the brightest stars, the darkest days. She will take you to the furthest moons, and to the deepest oceans. You will see adventures, and beauty, and miseries, be more scared than you thought possible, and experience happiness unlike any you have ever known. And at the end of it all, she will take you stargazing under the triple moons of a faraway planet, where you slow dance until morning comes.

No wonder Yaz stayed when the others turned away.

To some, their greatest dream is to live a normal life, to fall in love, get married, own a house, have several kids or cats or dogs. 

To some, the greatest adventure is one you know you will never experience. Unless, of course, you meet someone like the Doctor. The Doctor who has so much darkness in their eyes, has seen so much pain and misery, fought in more wars than any person should ever have to fight in. And still, she tries to make people smile. She still sees good where she should see evil. There are very few souls like hers.

And its addicting.

Maybe that why Yaz holds on so tight. Why when the Doctor meets her gaze, Yaz will never be the first one to break it, not willingly. When the Doctor takes her hand, Yaz clings to it like it is her lifeline. Maybe that’s why Yaz does everything she can to keep the Doctor safe.

Because she knows it can’t last forever.

The day is coming when she will have to say goodbye. Hopefully, its more years in the future than she can imagine. But it is coming. 

And that day will be the worst day of her life.

She has experienced a taste of it before, when the Doctor has tried to push them away for their own safety, when the Doctor left them behind on earth for ten months. When the Doctor suggested they say goodbye forever because travelling will change a person’s soul.

Those days were horrible. And that is why Yaz holds on so tight: she will not face that again.

Yaz’s heart is heavy every time the Doctor mentions an old friend. The look of sorrow in the Doctor’s eyes… she has lost so many and oh so much. It isn’t fair. But a creature who is as old as the universe and just as deadly will have to lose a few people through time. Its one of the things that keeps the Doctor travelling; the more memories she makes, the more time she spends running, the less the pain can chase her, swarm her.

“Why don’t you talk about it?”

“Talk about what?”

“Your past?”

Closing her eyes, head drooped, the Doctors face became a picture of sadness. “Because I hate being reminded that one day, I’m going to lose you too.”

“How many?”

“How many what?”

“How many have you loved and lost? And how many of them were human?”

The Doctor had not answered, instead flipping some of the controls on the Tardis, sending her spinning off into the vortex. When the Tardis finally landed, the Doctor still had not spoken. 

She holds out a hand, leading Yaz outside, onto a grassy hill. The dark night sky showing off the many stars of the universe. The Doctor can probably name each and every one of them. A warm breeze floats past them, ruffling the Doctor’s hair. 

A subtle message sent from her sonic screwdriver causes the Tardis to hum, and then a gentle tune floats through the air. Whatever song it is, is slow, and beautiful, and conjures a sense of peace in Yaz’s mind.

Placing her hands on Yaz’s waist, the Doctor begins to sway, gently, and in time to the music. Yaz smiles and joins in. its not long before their bodies are flush against each other, and they breathe in each other’s scent. Yaz smells of her shower gel. The Doctor smells of cinnamon and vanilla, and something else Yaz cannot place. It is a smell Yaz now associates with home, and an unprecedented feeling of love.

“I was afraid of loving you Yaz because I’m going to lose you. I am older than time, and even I don’t know how old that is. There will come a day when I can barely remember you, and I’m scared.” The Doctor stops moving, her body completely still and so unlike her. Holding Yaz’s gaze, their noses barely an inch apart, there are obvious tears in her eyes. “I do love you Yaz. And I will never talk about you, because the thought of you will hurt so bad, I will barely be able to breathe.”

Yaz holds her breath.

“That’s why I brought you here. Some people, some memories, are worth the pain.”

A soft smile makes its way on Yaz’s lips. She knows what the Doctor is saying, it is a fear that is always present in the backs of their minds. Every time they talk, or touch, or laugh, or love, the fear is there. One day this will all be over.

“You are worth every ounce of pain imaginable.” Yaz breathes.

The Doctor smiles, a tear rolling down her cheek. “I love you, Yaz.”

“I love you too, Doctor.”


End file.
